Fun, kids! When you become a mother, money is probably not the first thing on your mind. But those koters cost money, and a lot of it sometimes. How do you manage that? In Cots & Expenses, mothers therefore lay their finances open and bare. This time Barbro is speaking.
Everyone is different, and so are mothers! Therefore, our regular column Koters & Expenses features all kinds of moms. Mothers with adolescent children, mothers earning a ton a year, mothers working part-time, you name it. So, stay tuned! Want to participate (anonymously) too? If so, please email evie@thisiselfin.com subject to Koters & Costs.
Hi Barbro! Who are you and what do you do?
‘I am Barbro van der Ham, 47 years old and I live in Bussum with my husband and four children. I have three daughters aged 12, 13 and 18, and a son aged 16. A house full of adolescents, in other words! I work as a salaried financial assistant for twelve hours a week. The rest of the week I am busy with my duties as a council member of the municipality of Gooische Meren as well as working on my business Voucher box. I call myself profit advisor: I guide meaningful entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs who want to make the world more beautiful, greener and social in entrepreneurship, where managing, understanding and controlling finances play a major role. A full work week, indeed, but I manage my time myself. Nine to five is not for me.
How much do you currently earn?
‘My salary from employment, contribution as a council member and what I pay myself from my business is around 3,000 euros. It gives me a lot of security that I have multiple sources of income. When my children were younger, I was much more in control of spending. Clothes, sports activities, things like that, but now that all four of them are adolescents, sometimes the money flies out. Sometimes they suddenly need books for school, or their bike is broken. And one spontaneous afternoon of shopping can be done, but with four children, that adds up quite a bit.
In what do you support your children financially?
‘They get pocket money and dressing money and they have to make do with that officially, but it happens regularly that I still pay something for them. If they have something for school or sports, we pay for it. And if they want to get their driver’s license, we will pay for it. I would certainly help them find housing later, but buying a house for them, that’s going too far for me. I want them to be able to manage themselves financially when they grow up. Buying everything for them doesn’t help with that.’
When did you find that out?
‘I found that I was paying much more for my children than I intended anyway. You want them to be well and happy, so sometimes you tack on when they want that one pair of pants, for example, or have a party. Then I sometimes shoot for it. In the short term, I help them with that, but of course, in the end they learn nothing. Yes, that it is normal to be in debt. But of course that’s not too the point!
What is your financial tip for mothers (to-be)?
‘Be open about money and give your children the confidence that they can decide for themselves what to do with their money. Discuss together the advantages and disadvantages of a possible purchase and what the consequences might be. Above all, don’t be secretive or anxious about money. Almost all of the problems people have regarding money stem from the experiences they had in it growing up.
